You Will Be Lonely in Germany — How to Beat Homesickness

The Fear Nobody Talks About

Everyone talks about visas, language, and money. Almost nobody talks about the loneliness. But if you ask Kenyans who have moved to Germany what the hardest part was, many of them will not say the bureaucracy or the cold. They will say: "The first three months. I was so lonely."

This is real. We are not going to pretend it is not. Moving to a country where you do not know anyone, where people speak a different language, where the culture is quieter and more reserved than what you are used to — that is genuinely hard.

But here is the important part: it gets better. Significantly better. And there are specific things you can do to make it better faster.

Why the First Three Months Are the Hardest

In Kenya, community is built into daily life. Your neighbours know you. You chat with the mama mboga. Your friends drop by unannounced. Church on Sunday is a social event. Life is loud, warm, and communal.

Germany is different. People are friendly but more private. They do not usually drop by unannounced. Friendships take longer to build. Small talk is less common. This is not rudeness — it is culture. But when you are used to Kenyan warmth, it can feel isolating.

The first three months are hard because everything is new and nothing is familiar yet. You do not have routines. You do not have "your people" yet. You are navigating a new system in a new language while missing home.

This is completely normal. Every immigrant goes through it. Every single one.

How to Beat It: Practical Steps

1. Join a Verein (Club or Association)

Germany runs on Vereine — clubs for literally everything. Sports, music, hiking, photography, cooking, board games, volunteering. Joining a Verein is the fastest way to meet Germans and other internationals in a relaxed setting. Most have low monthly fees (EUR 5–20) and welcome newcomers.

Football club? Join one. Choir? Join one. Hiking group? Absolutely join one. This is how Germans make friends, and it works for you too.

2. Find Your Kenyan Community

There are Kenyan communities in most major German cities. Look for:

• Kenyan WhatsApp groups for your city (ask at the Kenyan Embassy or search Facebook)
• Kenyan churches — Nairobi Chapel has connections in Germany, and many Kenyan-led churches exist
• African cultural associations that organise events and celebrations
• Kenyan student groups if you are at a university or in a training programme

These communities understand exactly what you are going through because they went through it too.

3. Stay Connected to Home (But Not Too Connected)

WhatsApp, video calls, and social media make it easier than ever to stay in touch with family and friends in Kenya. Use them. Call your mum. Video chat with your friends. Stay connected.

But — and this is important — do not spend all your time on your phone talking to people in Kenya. If you are always mentally in Nairobi, you will never be present in Germany. Balance is key. Talk to home, but also invest in building a life where you are.

4. Learn German Aggressively

Language is the biggest barrier to connection. The faster you learn German, the faster you make friends, the faster loneliness fades. Every German class is also a social opportunity — your classmates are all immigrants too, all going through the same thing. Some of your strongest friendships will come from language class.

5. Say Yes to Everything (For the First Six Months)

Colleague invites you for coffee? Yes. Language partner wants to meet at a park? Yes. Someone at church invites you to a barbecue? Yes. For the first six months, your default answer to every social invitation should be yes. You are building a network from zero — every interaction counts.

6. Exercise and Get Outside

This sounds simple but it matters. Physical activity fights depression and anxiety. Walking, running, going to the gym, cycling — Germany is excellent for all of these. Fresh air and movement genuinely help your mental state, especially during the darker winter months.

The Timeline of Adjustment

Based on what Kenyans in Germany consistently report:

• Month 1: Excitement mixed with confusion and homesickness
• Month 2–3: The hardest period. Novelty wears off, reality sets in
• Month 4–6: You start finding your rhythm. Routines form. Familiar faces appear
• Month 6–12: Germany starts feeling like home. You have your spots, your people, your routine
• Year 2+: You cannot imagine not living here. You miss Kenya but you belong in both places

You Are Not Alone in Feeling Alone

The most important thing to remember is that every Kenyan who is now thriving in Germany went through exactly what you will go through. They felt lonely. They missed home. They questioned their decision. And then it got better.

If you want to connect with Kenyans already in Germany before you even arrive, start with our community resources. And when you are ready to take the first step, check your readiness score to see where you stand.

Loneliness is a season, not a sentence. It passes. And what comes after is worth it.